Daily Archives: August 10, 2012

What to read when you’re not watching Game of Thrones…4

King Joffrey Baratheon, the first of his name, would rather get a servant to read for him than pick up a book himself. After all, he’s got to plan the defense of King’s Landing (or, rather, take credit for everything his uncle Tyrion does after Joffrey runs for safety), ignore his mother’s diplomacy lessons, and make sure Sansa Stark is as miserable as possible. Maybe if he’d spent more time reading books instead of practicing his sneers in the mirror, he wouldn’t have turned out like he did. Just in case he does decided to pick up a book, here are some Joffrey might want to consider reading…

The Switch by Anthony Horowitz

Like Joffrey, Tad is a spoiled rich brat; when he’s magically switched into the body of a poorer boy, he gets a lesson in humility that Joffrey could definitely use.

I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want To Be Your Class President by Josh Leib

Joffrey may not be a genius, but he and Oliver both have daddy issues; Oliver deals with his by building an underground lair full of minions beneath his middle school.

I Hunt Killers by Barry Lyga

King Robert was no saint, but at least he did most of his killing on the battlefield, unlike Jazz’s father; now Jazz wants to help the police using what he learned from his serial killer dad.

Pool Boy by Michael Simmons

Brett’s family loses all its money when his father is arrested for insider trading, leading to some useful lessons that someone should also have shared with Joffrey.

I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells

John Wayne Cleaver is every bit as psychopathic as Joffrey; the difference between them is that John is determined to repress his urges and stop another monster from killing.